Like most other Latin and Mediterranean countries, Italians have a very overt way of expressing emotions and interacting with others.  They can be quite flamboyant with their speech and body language, and intruding on other people’s personal space in the norm.  If you’re from a culture that appreciates more of a distance, both physical and emotional, between yourself and people you just meet, Italians’ overemotiveness can come as a shock at first.  And if you’re in a relationship with anyone from an Italian background, this cultural block can lead to strife and hurt feelings all around.  Here are some things to keep in mind for smooth sailing in your dealings with Italians.

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  • When you meet someone for the first time, it is common in Italian culture, even between men, to give the other person an affectionate kiss on the cheek and sometimes even a hug.  Don’t shirk away from this, as you will give offense.
  • In speaking, exclamations are common.  Everyone raises their voice in excitement now and again, but the Italians do it far more commonly, thus lending a heightened sense of drama to everything they’re talking about.  Phrases like, “ma dai?” to connote disbelief and the filler word, “boh!” are common interjections – to Italians, they give conversations a dash of color. 
  • Hand gestures are ubiquitous.  As mentioned in a previous post, Italy has a complex and fascinating second language of hand gestures that serve to express emphasis, sarcasm, affection, and disdain because verbal language just isn’t emotive enough.  Body language is also quite informal, and an Italian person may stand closer to you than you’re comfortable with, punctuating his or her conversation by slapping you on the back or elbowing you in an amiable fashion.
  • Arguments are loud and heated.  Keeping a cool, even temper is not considered a virtue in Italian society.  When upset, it’s expected that you shout and gesticulate wildly, throwing tantrums and waterworks left and right.  If you come from a more stoic culture, prone to brooding and resentment, you may want to start communicating your feelings in a more overt manner if involved with an Italian or they will never have any idea that something’s wrong.  (Moreover, studies have shown that it’s good for mental and physical health to have a good meltdown every now and then.)pink-tree-woman-297021-o
  • Affection is abundantly expressed.  Similarly, if you’re the sort of person who saves saying “I love you” for special occasions, like deathbeds and apocalypses, you will  have to make a special effort if dating an Italian.  They will constantly be showering you with verbal affection and will expect to be reassured likewise.  A simple “ti amo,” at key moments will keep your relationship from going sour very quickly.

The best way to keep your Italian paramour in good spirits is to speak to them in their tongue, the undisputed language of romance.  Start your discovery of Italian by sending us an enquiry, or looking at our list of Italian courses.  Before you know it, you will be spouting out sweet nothings like there’s no tomorrow.